P!nk - “Just Like a Pill”

Aw, poor P!nk… She had an emo phase, too.

I’ll admit to totally loving this turd of a song when I was in high school, but I also thought I liked girls, so I really don’t trust any of the judgement calls I made during my teen years. Looking back, this song is awful. I’m tempted to describe it as shiteous, but I won’t. Just like I can’t judge my brother for having a bowl cut in high school, I can’t judge P!nk for making a horrible emo song back in her early days (before it was even cool).

Also; I still get a little confused from time to time regarding whether she’s singing about a person or actual drugs. And I don’t like being confused.

Good thing she got over that lame shit and moved on to being a sexy, sassy punk/pop/rocker who’s much more entertaining and likeable than this weirdo.

*NSync - “Pop”

I don’t know why, but this is my favorite *NSync song of all time. It’s also one of my favorite videos. Probably because this was when *NSync finally started trying to be cool (which would explain the “rapping” and beat-boxing on this track).

Also, it’s a huge plus to me that this was the point at which Justin finally shaved off that awful curly hair of his and rocked the super-sexy shaved head. Mm-mm good. J.C. Chasez’s hair, on the other hand? Ew to the max.

But the best part? The dance-break in the middle where they’re dancing in front of an obvious blue screen and their clothes keep changing from one awful combination to the next.

Love it. 100%

Cascada - “Last Christmas”

Speaking of people you would never expect to release a Christmas song: Cascada.

But you know what? This dance-version of the modern Christmas classic actually works surprisingly well, and I’ll admit to listening to it on a regular basis during the holiday season. What can I say? I’m a sucker for Cascada (and any other awful dance song), so why should I make an exception to my horrible taste during Christmas?

P.S. I want a Cascada wig for Christmas. That’s the only thing I want or need.

Ashlee Simpson - “Outta My Head”

Ashlee Simpson has always annoyed the hell out of me. When this song came out, I actually sort of like it, which bothered me, but thankfully it was pretty much a major flop. Plus, the video was just completely horrendous, which is reason enough in my mind to deny my kinda-sorta likeage of the song.

Once again, we have Ashlee holding a pair of headphones and singing into a microphone, as if it’s not already clear enough that she’s trying to establish herself as a “singer.”

And then there’s the whole “artsy,” Dalí-esque atmosphere going on, which I’m so not OK with because I doubt she even understands the references she’s making.

It starts to get better toward the end, when she’s wrapped up in a straight jacket, but still, my response is always, simply, “What. The. Fuck?”