If a stupid, catchy pop song is stuck in your head, or a stupid, catchy pop song is in constant rotation on your iPod, this site is for you.

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18 Songs to Blast at Full Volume
13 Tolerable Country Songs
13 Modern Christmas Songs
Summer 2010
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

May 26th, 2010 // 9 notes // Comments

Jordin Sparks - “Battlefield”

For some reason, my local radio station keeps playing this song on a regular basis, and I really don’t know why. It’s the most generic, derivative song I’ve ever heard.

I mean… Come on, how can you not hear this and make comparisons to Pat Benatar’s eternal classic “Love is a Battlefield”? It’s completely ridiculous that anyone would make such a song, much less Jordin Sparks, one of the least successful “American Idol” winners.

But you know what? I really don’t care. (Surprise!) I love it anyway, despite the fact that it’s 100% unoriginal and 100% dependent on Benatar’s eternal classic. We already knew that love was a battlefield, thanks to Pat, and here comes Jordin, telling us what we already knew.

Someone please remind me why she won “American Idol”…? Oh yeah… It’s because she was up against that beat-boxing r-tard Blake Lewis.

I totally loved him.

♥ | 52 plays

May 20th, 2010 // 3 notes // Comments

Toni Braxton - “Yesterday (feat. Trey Songz)”

Um, excuse me? I need some answers — I have a lot of very important unresolved questions lingering after watching this.

  1. Who the hell knew that Toni Braxton was still so hot?
  2. Is Toni morally opposed to being fully clothed? (Not that I’m complaining)
  3. Who is this Trey Songz character, and why do I find him so sexy?
  4. Why does Brooke Hogan have a cameo as “the other woman”?
  5. How many weaves/wigs can Toni wear in one video?
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

May 20th, 2010 // 32 notes // Comments

Train - “Drops of Jupiter”

I used to hate this song. But that was before I gained an appreciation for metaphors. Now I can love this song for all of it’s metaphorical amazingness. Then again, now that I think about it, I still don’t know what “drops of Jupiter” is actually supposed to be a metaphor for. Hm. Whatevs.

What I do know is that I simultaneously love and hate the random fried chicken reference thrown in there. I really don’t get it. But I love/hate it. :)

♥ | 140 plays

May 17th, 2010 // 13 notes // Comments

Ke$ha - “Your Love Is My Drug”

I really, really, hope that this video is about Ke$ha and her nasty-ass boyfriend peyote-binging in the desert.

How else would you explain the tiger mask, the trippy kaleidoscope effects, and the hand-drawn cartoon segments?

You know what my favorite part is, though? The night shot with Ke$ha covered in glow-in-the-dark paint. It’s ridiculous. And amazing. And I totally love it. I just wish it didn’t end so soon :(

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

May 17th, 2010 // 28 notes // Comments

Juvenile - “Slow Motion”

My favorite kind of song is the kind that needs no explanation. The kind whose amazingly awful lyrics speaks for themselves.

So sit back, have a listen, and get ready to revel in just how laughably fantastic this song is.

♥ | 500 plays

May 12th, 2010 // 1 note // Comments

Britney Spears - “Overprotected”

Seriously, Brit? I know for a fact that this isn’t the best you can do.

Britney’s videos are immensely entertaining eye candy, for the most part. When they’re not eye candy, they at least have some kind of story or something to keep us interested.

Not this crap. This is the only Britney video I’ve ever seen that actually bored me. For real. I can’t stand to watch this turd all the way through, and you’re not gonna make me do it.

Thank god they re-did it.

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

May 12th, 2010 // 9 notes // Comments

Britney Spears - “Outrageous”

I would have posted the video for this song, but there’s one tiny problem: Britney never finished the video because of an injury.

It’s too bad; what we have seen of the video looks pretty fantastic (Britney playing basketball with Snoop Dogg and then licking his face).

I wasn’t that wild about this song for the longest time, but now I pretty much love it. Any song that mentions trenchcoats, underwear, sexy jeans, shopping sprees, and sex drives has to be good, and having Britney sing about it is even better.

♥ | 62 plays

May 11th, 2010 // 4 notes // Comments

Miley Cyrus - “Can’t Be Tamed”

We all know by now how I feel about Miley. I can’t stand the girl.

I was willing to admit my love for “Party in the U.S.A.,” but I… just…

Shit… I think I’m starting to like her.

It’s weird, though, because Miley’s been quoted as saying that she doesn’t like pop music and doesn’t listen to it. So how am I supposed to respect someone who doesn’t even like the music she’s making?

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter in the end. Our ears, our hearts, our minds, are unwilling to listen to logic when it comes to awful pop music, and I’m sure you’re just like me in that you just can’t say “no” to this wonderful crap.

Also: How much hotter would this video be if Britney were the one singing and dancing in it? Because, honestly, Miley/Britney comparisons are just becoming more and more relevant as the girl molds her career after Miss B’s. Like Britney during the mid-2000s, Miley seems intent on saying over and over again, “Look how grown-up I am!”